15 Aug

Does yours?

Mine doesn’t.

And I’m not entirely sure I want him to. Or even that he needs to. Is this really a life skill that everyone needs? Or that everyone needs when they are 2? Will he really be relying on me to read him stories and sing him songs when he’s in university if I don’t stop the madness tout suite? Will he heck as like. Somewhere in the next couple of years he’s going to kick me out and assert his independence. Say something like “I’m not a baby Mammy”. And he’ll read his own books and go to sleep by himself. What’s the rush?

I may be a “crutch” or something now, but I’d rather it be me than some lights and sounds show yoke. I mean, why do those things even exist if small children are meant to go to sleep by themselves? I know that I don’t lie down and go to sleep immediately. I read, I talk to the Hubby, I get up for a drink, lie down again, get up to go to the toilet, check the locks etc. Not all of them every night, but switching off is hard. And if it’s hard for me, it must be even harder for him. He’s learning so much every day, his little mind is humming so loudly you can almost hear it. He goes at full speed until he conks out. In the middle of “There’s a hole in the bucket”.

I like watching him wind down. I bring him up and we brush his teeth. Then we go into his room and he chooses a story. I used to just read one, but for sanity’s sake (mine) I have increased it to two. I like Curious George as much as the next person, but every night? So now it’s two. Then I turn out the light. He talks about what he did during the day and I tell him what we’ll do tomorrow. Sometimes we say “Goodnight” to everyone he knows, all of his trains and all of the animals I can think of. Then I ask him what song he would like. Usually it’s “Found a Peanut” or “There’s a hole in the bucket”, sometimes it’s the theme from Dinosaur train (just to give my brain a workout, Mother of God but I hate trying to sing that song).

He falls asleep while I sing.

Oftentimes he’ll sleep through the night. Sometimes not. When he does wake he sits up, rubbing his eyes, calling me. I lay him down again and he’s out.

No matter how he goes to sleep, I’m still going to go in and check on him when he wakes. That’s who I am.

I’m going to check on him even if he doesn’t wake up. That’s who I am.

And I’m going to sing him to sleep until he tells me otherwise. That’s who I am.

That’s what my mother did for me.

Thanks Mam, for making me who I am.


6 Responses to “Self-settling”

  1. Allie August 15, 2010 at 8:40 am #

    Exactly how I feel about it! Sure, some nights it drives me or my husband loopy to cuddle him, then put him in bed (when he asks), then cuddle him again (when he asks), etc etc, but he isn’t always going to like cuddles so much or want to fall asleep on our shoulders, so we’re just going to enjoy it!!

    • turtleturtleturtle August 18, 2010 at 1:15 pm #

      It can be hard. Especially when the world and their brother has a baby/toddler/child that “self settles” and think that this is a worthy goal.

  2. Confessions of a Self Proclaimed Megalomaniac August 15, 2010 at 10:19 am #

    Aw that’s a sweet sentiment. I say take all the time in the world! Adorable post

    – Calhoun

    • turtleturtleturtle August 18, 2010 at 1:13 pm #

      Thank you!

  3. heartful blogger August 16, 2010 at 11:51 am #

    Mummies are supposed to be crutches! I don’t care how old you are! If I lived in the same country as mine, I’d be asking her to come round and read me stories to sleep. Honestly, if we can’t lean on our Mummies for comfort, what would we do??

    • turtleturtleturtle August 18, 2010 at 1:15 pm #


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